the importance of constantly checking in with ourselves
In life, we often set goals, intentions, and desires for our future, imagining who we’ll become and what we’ll achieve. But how often do we pause to truly check in with ourselves along the way? Just like in relationships, our connection with our goals and desires requires nurturing, reflection, and even re-evaluation.
This is how I see it come up most with my one on one clients -
Imagine this: You’re dating someone or looking for a partner. In those early stages, you might have a list of qualities you're looking for in someone. But as time goes on, you grow, evolve, and gain new experiences. Suddenly, the qualities you once sought may no longer align with who you’ve become. You’ve changed, and now, you may not be drawn to the same kind of person you thought you wanted at the start.
As we grow and develop as individuals, we change. Our values shift, our perspectives widen, and sometimes, our goals no longer resonate with who we are in the present. The goals you set a year ago—or even last month—might not align with who you are today. And that’s okay!
But the only way to recognize this evolution is through regular self-check-ins. When we don’t take the time to reflect, we might find ourselves chasing after dreams that no longer feel fulfilling, or working toward outcomes that don’t excite us anymore.
Here’s why it’s crucial to continuously check in with ourselves:
1. Growth is Inevitable
You’re constantly growing, learning, and changing, whether you realize it or not. A concept that. I adopted a long time ago is that we are just basically dating ourselves, s o that’s why I love to draw this comparison. You are in a relationship with you, you are an ever evolving being - Your relationship with your goals needs to evolve too. The person you were when you set your original goals may not be the person you are today. By checking in with yourself regularly, you can ensure that your goals are in alignment with your current self and that they reflect where you want to go next, not where you were before.
2. Getting Clear on Your WHY
Sometimes we set goals based on what we *think* we want or what society tells us we *should* want. However, as we grow into ourselves and gain clarity on our true desires, those initial goals may feel out of sync. Taking time to reflect allows us to ask the critical questions: “Is this still what I want?” “Does this goal reflect who I am now?” “Would something else feel more fulfilling?” These questions help us stay aligned with our true purpose and avoid getting stuck on paths that no longer serve us… or worse, lead us in a direction we do not wish to go.
3. Preventing Burnout and Misalignment
Your energy is everything. When we pursue goals that no longer resonate, we can end up feeling unmotivated, frustrated, or burned out. By regularly checking in with ourselves, we can catch misalignments early and course-correct before investing too much time and energy in something that isn’t right for us anymore. It’s like dating someone you’re no longer compatible with—you’ll eventually feel disconnected. The same happens when we chase goals that no longer fit who we are, or who we wish to become.
4. Embracing the Flow
Now this can be tricky, because sometimes when we are checking in like this it can feel almost frustrating to feel like we are constantly starting and stopping - but I promise you - you are meant to grow, you are meant to change. And most of all, you are allowed to change your mind. Just as relationships evolve, so should our goals. Checking in with yourself allows you to adjust and pivot with grace. It's not about giving up on your dreams but about being open to change and trusting that new opportunities, directions, or desires might emerge that will bring you greater fulfillment. Growth means that what was once important might no longer hold the same weight, and something even more exciting might be calling your name. Don’t keep yourself in the same space or situation just because it is comfortable or it feels routine.
5. Deepening Your Self-Awareness
The more you check in with yourself, the more you get to know yourself on a deeper level. Just as communication is key in any relationship, the dialogue you have with yourself is essential for personal growth. Through this process, you can become more attuned to what truly lights you up and what holds you back, making it easier to course-correct and align with what feels right in each stage of your journey.
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At the end of the day, it’s so essential to focus on ourselves first. Grow as an individual, check in with your desires, and give yourself permission to change. In doing so, you not only attract what’s truly meant for you, but you also ensure that the goals you’re pursuing are aligned with your most authentic self. So, take time to reflect, ask yourself the tough questions, and embrace the evolution of your dreams and desires.
